Self-Discipline

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The single most important attribute to becoming successful is self-discipline. 

Self-Discipline enables you to develop and maintain control and mastery of your thoughts and actions. This means you’re able to make better decisions and act on opportunities while ignoring the shiny objects of anything claiming to be New and Improved. 

It helps you stay focused on doing the things that matter, gives you the motivation to stick with difficult tasks, and gives you the grit to overcome obstacles and discomfort as you push yourself to accomplish your goals. 

When we’re able to finish what we start, do what we say we’re going to do, and accomplish our goals we increase our confidence, gain the respect of our peers, and are closer to becoming the person we set out to become.

What exactly is self-discipline?

It’s the ability to control your impulses, emotions, reactions, and behaviors. You’re able to say no to short-term or immediate gratification in favor of long-term satisfaction and gain. It’s saying “no” when you want to say “yes.” And, amazing to some, the more self-discipline you have the more content you will be with your life. 

Seriously, you cannot achieve your goals without discipline. So, honing this skill is vital to your success.

What it looks like

You don’t want to go to the gym, you do it anyway – because you committed to a daily regimen to improve your body.

You don’t want to finish writing the info product, you do it anyway – because you committed to a deadline.

You don’t want to attend a fancy dinner event, you do it anyway – because you accepted the invitation and know the seat at the table is reserved for you.

You don’t want to pray and meditate, you do it anyway – because you know it will set the tone for the day and the ends results are worth the effort.

You don’t want to change your thoughts and actions, you do it anyway – because you committed to doing things differently so you could become the person you want to be and achieve the goals you set.

Are you seeing the pattern here? 

Self-discipline helps you do the things that need to be done so that in the final accounting of your day, month, year, and life you experience and have all that you wanted. 

 

“Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself-and be lenient to everybody else“

Henry Ward Beecher

 

How to develop self-discipline

It begins with understanding where you are now. What habits are stopping you from achieving your goals and need to be changed or replaced? Procrastination, giving up too soon, eating junk food, always running late, have an excuse for everything, are just a few examples of habits that need our attention. 

Rather than tackling them all at once, let’s pick one and focus on changing it or replacing it so that it no longer stops you from achieving your goals. When you’ve finished with one, move on to the next. 

Let’s begin with procrastination. There are as many reasons to procrastinate as there are people in the world. For many people, the reason they procrastinate is that they don’t have an obvious motivation to do the work. Lack of motivation can be heard as “It’s too difficult” or “It’s not that important” or “It won’t be good enough so why do it”. 

One way to change this thinking, overcome it, replace it is to do it because someone else is involved. There is a saying that goes, “Don’t do it for others; do it for yourself.” There are times when you can be more disciplined when you consider how your actions, behaviors, emotions, and impulses affect others. It is okay to use external sources to drive motivation. Sometimes, those external motivators are more powerful than internal ones. 

Next, we can tackle giving up too soon. Stopping before we’ve reached the finish line. Being discouraged because “it” is taking too long and you can’t see the end in sight. We do this by taking a break and setting aside time to purposefully reconnect with our reason Why we decided to do this task or project, how it fits in with our ultimate goal, and what it is supposed to look like when we are finished.

First, remember that you’re in this for the long-term gain, not the short-term gratification. Now, revisit your goal. Use your imagination to recall why you set the goal in the first place. What was the reason this task was identified as important in the process for you to achieve your goal? How does it fit, now, to achieving your goal? If you decide it’s still important and needs to be done, then use the 7 Levels Deep Why Process:

  1. What is important to you about becoming successful?
  2. Why is it important for you to (refer to your answer)
  3. Why is it important for you to (refer to your answer)
  4. Why is it important for you to (refer to your answer)
  5. Why is it important for you to (refer to your answer)
  6. Specifically, why is it important for you to ___________________?
  7. Why is it important for you to (refer to your answer)

Here’s an example of how this works:

  1. What is important to you about becoming successful? make more money
  2. Why is it important for you to make more money? get out of debt
  3. Why is it important for you to get out of debt? stop working so hard for other people
  4. Why is it important for you to stop working? I want to do things with my life with the fruits of my labor
  5. Why is it important for you to do things with your life with the fruits of your labor? to take care of my spouse who has a chronic illness
  6. Specifically, why is it important for you to take care of your spouse? my spouse is my life partner and has sacrificed for me and now it’s my turn
  7. Why is it important for you to take care of your spouse? because I want to be the one who helps my spouse the right way, it’s important that they are cared for and looked after by someone who cares rather than hire it out. 

You should see, by now, that this exercise can help you to get in touch with the reason Why you started this adventure and can reignite the motivation you need to keep doing the work to achieve your goal. 

If you want your life to look and feel and be a certain way, you must develop the discipline to get from where you are now to where you want to be. It may seem counterintuitive, but you will find yourself happier and healthier the more self-disciplined you become.

Action Steps

Write down the habits that are stopping you from succeeding.

Select one to change or replace.

Determine how it can be changed or replaced.

Commit to doing the new action, every day, for the next 30 days.

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